IT’S 10 YEARS ALREADY...

Dear Ucheoma,

 

It’s  10 years already!

They said the pain will eventually fade away and it did for me, but your memory lingers. I think of you almost every day, how beautiful, tall and elegant you would have been. I think of how far you would have gone, probably out of the country by now doing exploits. Your name would have been known.

My relationship with your family dwindled until there is nothing left. I have a feeling you know I intentionally avoid them. I just don’t want to cause them pain. My presence will only make them think of what would have been. Your mom cries whenever she sees me, she ask questions that no one can provide answers to except you. She has aged so much since you left. Maybe because she lost two of you. Her pain hasn’t faded as her smiles never gets to her eyes.

       

It’s been so long I saw your immediate younger sister and I trust she is doing fine. I am sorry I couldn’t deliver the message you wanted me to. I hope it is not too late, but I promise I will eventually do it. Your brother is now a big boy and the last time we met, he had a girlfriend. He is so tall and still quiet. My presence also reminds him of you, now you understand why I try so much to avoid any encounter. Let me not forget to talk about the twins. They turned out very pretty and tall. I guess it’s in the gene.

Ucheoma, I think of the old days and I smile. The truth is, I don’t know if we would have remained best friends or close friends, especially with adulthood throwing different things and people at us. I don’t know if I would have forgiven you for hiding things from me. Sometimes I wish I had given you time, made out time to talk to you more, catch up with you and not get carried away with being with new friends, having a new boyfriend and partying not knowing you were fighting to live. 10 years, and I still feel bad about it.

We were best friends, but had just a few mutual friends. It’s surprising how we were world apart in our attitude and approach to life but very close because we had the same goal. You see why I said, I don’t know if we would have still been close because I wonder why you moved with certain people then. I was the snub and you were the jovial one, how did we even click?

 Let me tell you a little about our mutual friends, Izuchukwu, Muhammed and Chike. Izu misses you more than words can describe. I keep him in my heart and prayers, because after you, he has also lost so many close relatives and friends. He is finding it difficult to find someone because he keeps looking for you in them. I promise to hug him when we see, and tell him God has got his back, though we chat often. Muhammed is a topic I don’t even want to talk about. Guy is all kind of shady and I don’t want to say proud. We aren’t friends anymore. The last time we spoke though, 2021, we talked about you. Chike! You need to hear me screaming his name, his mouth is still as sharp as ever, and he keeps saying I jilted him. You remember how he left for Uni earlier and grew wings? He says I owe him for all our dates and the gifts he got me. We all still talk about you. Your memory lives on.

There are so many things to tell you, me being married and being a mom but I have to stop now as my eyes are tearing up. A greatness that never happened.