THREE IS A CROWD

 

I grew up hearing the words ‘three is a crowd’ and assumed it only relates to going out on a date and inviting a third party. As an adult (eyes rolling) I have come to understand that it transcends that. A third, fourth or fifth person in any kind of ship is a crowd. Could be friendship, relationship or situationship. 

One thing I hold dear and scared is friendship. You barely hear me refer to someone as a friend, if I haven’t convinced myself that what we share is worth giving a special tag. Then, there is the skepticism of being in a friendship circle that has more than two persons involved.

Being more than two in a supposed circle gives room for gossip, vile statements, delusional believe of jealousy and crazy assumptions that can leave a mark of hatred.

It is important you understand yourself first; your lifestyle, beliefs, desires, goals and perception about things and life before making someone who shares the same a friend. If either of you decide to introduce someone else in the created bond/friendship, it is imperative to re-evaluate yourselves. Think of what brought you together in the first place and use the same yardstick to measure the newbie. You should either have the same views or hers/his should be better.

While in high school, I made friends with people who you can never find in the same circle, it was not intentional, I just found myself doing it. My closest friend belonged to a group with the most notorious students in school but then she was the only person I relate with in her group. She was never interested in the people I kept as friends in school and being just the two of us, it was us against any other person, no gossip, no drama, until she left. Only if there is a phone in heaven.

After then, I found myself in circle I still can’t understand how it happened. We were three, and there was the gossip, the lies and the pretense. It was so toxic that the day I walked away, I had to spoil myself. In every circle of three or more friends, the level of closeness would differ and this is the first sign that there would be a disaster. When one realizes that you exchanged gifts or go out together without involving her, drama sets in. Then in trying to be the better person in the group, lies and back stabbing creeps in. One hell of a circle/clique.

I still believe that a good number of people can come together and be friends, which is rare, and if you enjoy this type of friendship, then you are lucky. On another note, it depends on how you see yourself with others. Some people term a relationship, ‘friendship’, with anyone, even if they only exchange pleasantries while people like me expects more.

I read something about not trusting people who have lots of friends and I smiled. I think it would be an easier relationship if ‘the lots of friends’ are not friends with each other.