SPEAK NOW...

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His name is Olarinwaju.

I remember the first time I saw him. I had a feeling to start up a friendly conversation leaving my professional façade. No! Just do what is required of you and let him be, a small voice whispered. I watched him leave, with a longing to have gone with my first instinct. He looked clean but worn out, he smiled genuinely but it never reached his eyes.

Three weeks later, he breezed in with a look alike guy. I smiled, hoping to strike up a conversation this time, no matter how bad it goes. I tried eavesdropping on his conversation with my colleague and boom, I heard ‘I was high’. This is it, my spirit had wanted me to get to this guy, I knew something was off when I first saw him. I looked up and he was smiling at me, maybe because my eyeballs were shooting out. I know people do drugs and get high, but he is so young.

Somehow, we got talking and he was able to confidently talk of how he lost important devices and document because he was high. His look alike, was his younger brother, they visited to replace some of his missing things. I was still unable to speak coherently, I just kept repeating the words, and ‘you were high’… Do you think I am a small boy? He said to me, and then he walked away. I had to check him out to confirm if he was older like he insinuated but he is still a young lad. I was lost in regret, I should have said something, I should have told him about Sommy.

Sommy was once a friendly, promising young lad who was full of life but we lost him to this same menace of hard drugs. He was just 21, so selfless in giving, had beautiful plans laid out, but got involved with the wrong set of people. The tale of how he gradually closed his eyes to death, organ systems shutting down while his eyes pleaded for help and doctors clearly stating that there was nothing to do remains fresh in my mind. 

I tried not to blame myself for being a part but there’s always a whisper of ‘you should have reached out’. I am constantly being teased in my head by his lost smiles, his jokes and his promises of always coming to visit. The taunting voice of ‘a word from you might have led him to the right path’ would always be there even if I understand that my words may never have helped him but at least, an attempt was made.

This is over two months and I am yet to see Olarinwaju. I look up every 5 minutes and wish I could compel him to appear and let’s have a little chat. Why do I even go speechless when the need to speak arises?

The resolve is to always speak when you know you need to and hey, take out the judgmental self, hopefully the person will understand.




Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 11, 2021 at 10:00 AM

    Always luvly to read your piece...keep it up Sis...Palata

    ReplyDelete
  2. RoseyloveAugust 12, 2021 at 9:42 AM

    Yea
    Its good to speak up but sometimes the voice ain't just there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Onyinyechukwu OkolieAugust 17, 2021 at 8:25 PM

    The rate of young people doing drugs in our country these days is so high.
    So many lives and destinies being wasted.

    I understand why the lady in the post couldn't talk. When you're not close to a person, talking about such a sensitive topic can be hard.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ChikezieSeptember 11, 2021 at 11:32 PM

    I think the best way to teach someone is to let them make the mistake and then come back to their senses (if they ever do)

    Trying to change a person is usually an impossible task in and of itself

    People only change when they want to.

    Just my opinion

    ReplyDelete

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